My Friend

Hey Gang, Here's a really good article I just read on youth builders. I know a lot of teens have talked to me about the issue of homosexuality. i want to be a help for all those who are struggling and who want to learn how to help. Check it out and get back with me on the blog.

Amos

I recently faced a dilemma: A friend of mine has come out of the closet about being a homosexual. He says he's been gay since he was 12, and now he's almost 18. Although my friend became a Christian five months ago, it hasn't changed his sexual orientation. My problem is, I don't know how to approach him in a kind, loving manner and tell him what the Bible says about homosexuality. What can I do?

You do have a difficult dilemma. Homosexuality is a very complicated and misunderstood issue. We, as Christians, have not done a very good job of presenting biblical truth in a kind, loving manner. Many Christians have either made fun of homosexuals or have been mean to them. Neither of these methods will ever bring the love of God to anyone.

The dilemma we have lies in the fact that the Bible is quite clear in regard to sexual sin. And that’s any sexual sin--not just homosexuality. It’s interesting that there are at least 17 references to different types of sexual sin in the Bible, and only three (or at most five, depending on your interpretation) of those references deal with homosexuality.

So, according to the Bible, there is no big difference between the sin of homosexuality and any other sexual sin--premarital sex, for instance. The word sin in Greek, the language the New Testament was written in, literally means to "miss the mark." And all sexual sin is missing the mark of God’s standards.

From my experience, I’d guess about 10 percent of the youth population has struggled with what we call gender identity confusion. Your friend is not alone in his struggles. However, I am also convinced that most people who believe they are homosexual are not. Let me give you some important information on homosexuality.

Sexual abuse is a key factor in homosexuality. Studies show that as many as 58 percent of homosexuals have experienced some kind of sexual abuse as children. Many others who call themselves homosexual were either physically or emotionally abused. Also, many homosexuals suffer from sexual addiction. With the ease of obtaining pornographic materials from the Internet, videos and magazines, some people experiment with homosexual behavior because of what they’ve seen and read.

A lot of Christians, including myself, believe that homosexual behaviors are preventable and treatable. Many people who experiment with homosexual behaviors are simply confused. Although the issues can be complicated, young people who struggle with homosexuality can move on to a healthy heterosexual marriage with the help of good Christian counseling.

I would also ask your friend to call Exodus International, a Christian organization committed to helping free people from a homosexual lifestyle. The telephone number of Exodus is 260-784-7799.

From my own experience talking with students, I would guess that your friend has a great a deal of sexual identity confusion. Since your friend has recently become a Christian, I think that if he wants to, he will be able to seek the truth about his sexuality and receive the help he needs. Your job is to do what you said you could do: Be kind and loving, yet share your understanding of Scripture.

One thing we know about those who struggle with this issue is, the earlier they can get help, the easier it is to live a lifestyle that is glorifying to God. Please know it is never too late to get help and never too early to make wise and godly decisions about our sexuality. I commend you for caring for your friend in such a sensitive way.